It's Christmas Eve, and I can't wait for the holidays to be over with. They just aren't the same without your beautiful face here to share it with. It still doesn't seem real and it's never going to be fair. I was robbed of my world and that was you. We had so much planned for our future and I sit here wondering how i'm going to accomplish that without you. How'd we get here beef? I thought we were so happy. All the videos I see and the pictures you were so happy and full of life. I miss your presence. You made me want to be a better person and now I'm angry.

My Christmas wish is to be able to see you again. I'd love to be in your arms for as long as I can. I know that what I'm asking is impossible, but hey a girl and dream can't she. I recorded your voice onto my ipod the other day and Now I can't stop listening to it. Your voice calms me. I also got our video camera working and i can't tell you how many times I watched our first christmas together. I wish that I can sleep through tomorrow and miss everything.

I'm alone beef, people are slowly separating themselves from me, but I guess that shows true feelings. Everything I needed in this world is gone so I guess It's all up to me to figure out new goals. I'm still very much in love with you and Can't wait to be in your arms once more.