I miss you...

Hey babe.... Today was my last day visiting a counselor about what has happened. She says that I'm doing very well and that she doesn't think she'll need to see me again. I talked to her about the funeral and the emotions I'm going through, which she told me all of the emotions are very natural. She told me something important that I need to remember. She described the healing process as a mansion with a ton of rooms. Everyday I'm going to open a door to a new room and I need to embrace whatever is in that room. Another good thing I picked up was that I'll be ready to stop grieving whenever I'm ready and not a minute sooner. The grieving process is something that shouldn't be rushed and I feel like some people are trying to rush me back to normal life. It just feels as if some people just can't let you rest in peace. She also agreed with me that my life will not be the same because of what happened. I'm needing to take a good look at who I am, what I want to do long term and then proceed from there.  I've learned to deal with the outcome and know that I can't change anything that has happened. I know that you're in a better place and that you feel no pain. It comforts me to know those things because you're in a better place then I am. Even though you're physically not here next to me, I feel your presence from time to time. I've got a picture in my room from Chelsea. It's the most beautiful picture of us that I have. The photographer wasn't taking pictures and Chelsea took the perfect opportunity to take one. We look so happy babe... I know that you love me and that you loved me here on earth. I love you with all my heart and no one can take that away from us. I miss holding your hand while I drive, I miss hearing your heartbeat, and most of all I miss hearing your beautiful voice saying that everything was going to be alright. You were the best husband a girl could ask for. I love you Baby.